While becoming a mom wasn’t my only life goal, I always thought I wanted to have children. I hadn’t thought much about when, though.
I knew I wanted to establish myself in my career and it was nice to spend a few years married without kids. Granted, since my husband was diagnosed with cancer less than a month after we were married, we didn’t have much choice, as the doctor recommended we wait at least two years after his treatment ended before trying.
It’s amazing how something horrible and unexpected like cancer can change your life plan. If he hadn’t had cancer, I don’t know if we would’ve decided to have kids as soon as we did. But going through that made me realize our time might be limited. Your life course can change permanently in a matter of seconds, and then there’s no going back.
We got to a point where he was far enough out from treatment that it would be safe. I had a job that I loved and an employer is supportive of families. We had a house that we’d been in for a little bit and that had extra room to welcome a baby.
I worried about the money aspect. If we didn’t have student loans, we’d basically be filthy rich. I won’t tell you how much a month we pay because it’ll make you sick, but having those, combined with a mortgage and all the other bills that come with being an adult made me nervous to talk kids. They’re expensive! I thought about waiting until I was 40 and hopefully more financially stable.
But who knows what will happen in the next 12 years? We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. If you know there’s something you want out of life, you shouldn’t wait to do it, or at least to start pursuing it.
My husband is in a good place health-wise now. But if something ever were to change and I hadn’t pursued that dream of being a mom and having a child with him because I was waiting for the circumstances to be 100 percent perfect, I would be devastated.
I believe it’s better to take that leap of faith. Money will work itself out. It was the best decision I’ve made. My daughter is amazing and I love my growing family!